A stroke of evil mommy genius


This morning I decided that I was not going to let us keep living in this house with it so filthy, so I cleaned …… the half bath.  First I cooked refrigerator cinnamon rolls and we all ate breakfast.  Then I cooked a couple of pounds of bacon and a pound of Italian sausage to use in later recipes.  You know, I had to work up to the whole cleaning thing.  After that I set the kids up with a movie to watch if they simply could not find anything else to do.  Then I went head-down into the half bath.  It’s 5 feet square – it can’t take very long even though it is practically a hazardous waste zone.

I put the towels in the wash and start bringing out the trash can and such so I can clean it all, and there is The Girl with her hand in the bag of M&Ms she’d sneaked out of the pantry.  Now I don’t really care that she’s eating M&Ms, but I know she’s bored instead of hungry.  Plus, I’ve just fed her breakfast an hour ago.  Plus, I’ve just told her I would make BLTs for lunch as soon as I get done in this bathroom.  I make her put them away. 

After an hour of alternating cleaning the bathroom (it was worse than I thought), I am finally at the kitchen sink doing the last clean up & washing my hands, getting ready to make those BLTs.  I hear a sound sort of like the one slot machines make as they payoff – lots of small things crashing fast through a tight space.  This sound brings a cascade of M&Ms out from under the pantry door.  Damn.  I open the door and find the bag, with one long side torn off, hanging halfway off the edge of a shelf.  There’s a nice pile of M&Ms on the next shelf down and a thin layer over everything on the floor level – multi-packs of paper towels and baskets of lunch bags and bottles of juice.  Great.  That’s gonna be fun for me to clean up. 

That’s when the stroke of evil mommy genius hits:  I’ll make her clean it up.  Not only does it mean I don’t have to clean it, but I can claim I’m teaching her a valuable lesson about how important it is to do things right in the first place.  I make her clean it up.  I make her empty everything out of the pantry and make sure every one of those M&Ms is out of that pantry.  I’m not going to leave them to attract pests, and I’m not cleaning them up.  Made her sweep it out since she had it all cleaned out.  Made her clean up and put away the broom and dustpan, too.  ‘Cause I’m mean like that.  Somewhere along the line I realize that I’m actually investing more time in getting her to clean it right than it would have taken for me to clean it myself.  On the other hand, I taught her how to clean up a mess like that, right?

Then I made the BLTs, which were delicious.  Mmmmmm.  Bacon.


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