Don’t get me wrong, our kids are awesome

We just got back from a 10-day trip to Europe with our two kids.  I need a bottle of Jack Daniels. 

Don’t get me wrong, our kids are awesome.  Everywhere we went people talked about how well behaved they were and what sweet kids we have.  Really they were pretty darn awesome.  For a 5-year-old and a 7-year-old. 

Trouble is that a damn good 5 year old still gets tired of walking when you’re only halfway back to the hotel, and just doesn’t understand what the big deal is about you carrying him.  If he can walk halfway, surely you can carry him the other half.  Maybe you could bribe him, and spend twice as long looking for whatever bribe you promised as it would take to just walk back to the hotel in the first place.  By the way, there are no Hot Wheels for sale between Piazza Navonna and the Roman Forum.  Just an FYI.

And a 7-year-old just can’t wait until 9pm for dinner, even if that is when the restaraunts open.  Now it might be an awesome kid who loves adventure and has a blast looking at all the ancient stuff.  Still, at some point they need sustenance, and that point is not at 9pm, regardless of the level of excitement.  If you haven’t fed her when the inevitable bedtime arrives, you might find yourself scrounging for a tic tac stuck to the lining of your purse.

Oh, and when a 5 year old says “I gotta go potty”, you better take it seriously.  He did change his mind pretty quick when he realized that the best “pot” available was a ceramic circle around a hole in the floor.  He wasn’t even willing to pee in there, much less squat over it.  You can take your “adventure peeing” and shove it.  He’s out.  Helpful hint:  if you don’t get to the potty on time, throw those underwear away.  They aren’t worth it.

No matter what happens with your 5-year-old and your 7-year-old, take a lot of pictures.  We did get an irreplaceable one of The Boy’s expression after he drank some mineral water “with gas” and a fabulous one of The Girl doing her best movie star routine at the Trevi Fountain.  That stuff really is priceless.  Can’t wait to show the pics to their friends to embarass them.


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